Monday, November 15, 2010

The 405

Muffler exhaust systems are a great way to gauge what kind of person you are. For instance, consider the motorcycle rider--loud and obnoxious, yet usually too old be a child craving attention. Yet here we are, sitting in homes while motorcycles roar by ridden by five year-olds with leather jackets and gray beards.

Keep your midlife crisis to an auditory minimum if you don't mind. There should be one last stipulation applied to the rules of muffler exhaust systems: a cork. If cars are allowed to be as loud as they want, then there should be a new law stating that cars are allowed to start ramming each other. I consider starting it everyday.

I grew up near San Diego, which is where the majority of the country's noise-thrash-punk bands came from. Those extra decibels were much more enjoyable than the people who lived in that city with something to prove. That thing needing to be proved that they could say "Look at me!" better than any selfish child. If you have a purposely loud vehicle and are reading this, I hope you are bummed. You should be because guess what? This is how everyone feels about you. You are a little kid who wants a bottle.

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