Monday, November 1, 2010

Fancy Me

I am not getting any younger, or cuter. The time is drawing close when I will have to start buying designer menswear to compensate for my disappearing youth. Don't cry for me, Earth, I lasted a lot longer than I should have as a casual young man.

One can't wear T-shirts and hooded sweatshirts forever. How am I going to find a wife or a job at a bank dressed that way? If there is one thing I have learned from watching TV and talking to my sisters, it is that women love men's designer clothing. Who can blame them? Dudes dressed in expensive, fitted clothes have no choice but to look awesome. The time has come for me head to the mall and lighten my wallet significantly.

Originally my plan was to just dress comfortably and neutrally for the rest of my life, but the real world has shattered that idea. I can't even order food in a restaurant without the server thinking I am homeless. My clothing isn't even unkempt, it is just isn't designer menswear. The importance of how we all look is stressed every time we walk out the door, so get rich or die trying.

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