If someone were to offer me a Russian fur hat, I would only accept depending on the kind of animal it was made out of. Made of a fox? No thank you, foxes are cute and clever, and thus I do not want to disrespect one by wearing it on my head.
However, if it were made of a bear or something we might have a deal. Sure bears can be cute (panda bears) but they are also terrifying. What better lesson to teach deadly animals then reminding them that they are nothing but hats to us. Hey grizzly bear, you think it's funny to tear apart campers and eat their snacks? You are a hat. I know they have bears in Russia (at least they have them in the Russian circus) so they should consider this great idea.
It's about time that the Russian and American alliance grew a little stronger. By that I mean they should start making bears into Ushankas to make me happy. That is what a real friend does, Russia. The Cold War is over, and your hats are the best way to stay warm. So please, start making those things in bulk, and with the funniest types of fur you can think of.
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