Monday, October 25, 2010

Major Awards

My sisters were all stellar athletes when they were younger. I, in comparison, was not. The difference is noticeable in our sports trophies.They all have specific and pristine awards, whereas mine are all small and plastic with placards that say things like "You Wish" and "Nice Try, Idiot" (half joke).

Sports trophies play a big part in childhood development in that they are the first time a child realizes that people will try to placate them in ways that are obvious and demeaning. You think those kids don't know that they are getting a trophy just so they won't cry? It probably is better than nothing, but don't think that those kids believe that they really helped out the team--they were there the whole time; they know what they did.

I have a handful of random awards and plaques for things that I was terrible at. Am I supposed to keep them as if they are real awards, even though it is obvious to me and everyone who sees them that they are a total joke? Yes. Duh. They are my major awards! How else am I supposed to let people know that I am important? I want to move to a medium-sized place like Ohio, and just fill my home with these awards and order pizzas; the delivery guy is going to love all my stories.

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