Friday, September 17, 2010

100% Life

Here is a good list of things to avoid in life:

1. A personal injury attorney. This is because it means you either never been hurt, or have never been sued by someone you hurt.
2. Anyone from Houston--they probably have a gun.
3. Expired candy. You will still eat it, even though you know you shouldn't.
4. Salespeople--They do not have anything that you want. Just keep walking.
5. Cats (but not kittens).
6. Cops--if you meet one then you have to get a ticket for loitering.
7. A personal injury attorney. This is bec... Oh, wait. Sorry.
8. Animals who have been taped together to form one, massively dangerous animal.
9. People who spend more than one hour a month at Walmart.
10. The Man.

If you can make it through your life without ever encountering any of the things on this list, then upon your arrival in Heaven you will have completed life with a 100% game rating. You will be given a special shirt to wear and become eligible for the free the nebula giveaway.

Not many people have done this. The most difficult one is hanging out with kittens while avoiding cats--the cutoff into adulthood is difficult to notice. But if you can handle that one, the rest should all be cake.

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