This Is Real

I have two cats and they are both total idiots--they aren't exactly mine, either. Anyway, there are these two cats in my house, and the guy they used to belong was a total hippie and he didn't even buy them natural cat food. That is how dumb these cats were/are--their naturalist owner wouldn't even buy them hippie-grade cat food.

Last night someone brought over this crazy cute kitten, and we had to lock our obnoxious cats outside because they wanted to murder it. If the internet has taught us all anything, it is that kittens are the universal currency for happiness and smiles. Thus, just by our cats not liking the cute kitten they proved themselves to be literal devils and haters.

If they think that they will ever know they joy of natural cat food, they had better wake the hell up, because that will NEVER happen. If they want any kind of good thing to happen in their lives they had better start AT LEAST loving on kittens.

The above picture is the actual kitten we were playing with last night. I know, right? How could any living creature not have its heart warmed by this little creature?