I have decided that for my birthday this year I want to go to a day spa. That way I can relax, and I won't have to worry about anybody trying to throw me a party--even though I told them not to. I am also not asking for this spa day as a present; I am saying that I will do it all myself. That way no one will be able to find me.
Maybe I will book this relaxing day in a place like Des Moines just to be even further away. You know, just getting mud wraps and fig rubs and... volcanic... skin--I don't know. I have never been to a spa so it isn't exactly clear to me what goes on in there. I can't wait to find out.
For those of you who are still thinking that you are going to find my secret spa and give me a cake, you had better do some real thinking. Do you really think I am going to a far away spa, or is this just another red herring to make sure that you can't find me? I know, right? This is all pretty complicated stuff. Happy birthday to me... in a bunch of months.
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