Thursday, September 16, 2010

"I Am a Skinny Kitten"

If your house is in need of foundation repair, you are basically dead. Not that it is impossible to fix your foundation; the problem is that it's crazy expensive. But it needs to be expensive because... well think about it. Foundation repair is the process of fixing the giant, concrete, roots of your house while your house still sits on it.

If my house were tilting because of a busted foundation I would just live in it for as long as it still stood, and then when it fell over I would be on my way. Houses have life expectancies just like people do, so when they are ready to die just let them. Don't put your house on life support while it is in a vegetative state.

Maybe I only think this way because I don't have any money. People who are rich are probably like: "Foundation repair? Don't be ridiculous--we are going to buy a new house and stick it under this house. That should fix the problem. Now c'mon, we have lobsters in Massachusetts to eat." That sounds all fine and dandy for you fat cats, but I am a skinny kitten, so my house is going to stay broken.

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