Tuesday, September 7, 2010

This Isn't What it Seems

If I were going to start a store that sold adult-themed products I would name it Gifts to Bangalore. It sounds a little proper/exotic, is explicit in a funny way, and is also a reference to India--the home of the Kama Sutra. Don't worry--I studied literature in school, so don't be upset if you are never able to think of a name this perfect for your business.

Gifts to Bangalore would be a huge hit amongst people are funny, cultured, and sexy. However, just because of the nature of the store I'm sure The Man would only let me put stores in places like New Jersey and California. Like I care--I'm giving the people what they want; let their voices ring and be heard by all.

After I have saved about ten million marriages I will look to expand into some other states, countries, and planets. There is no limit to this dream of mine, and everyone who exists will be the beneficiaries of this wonderful plan. Don't sell yourself short by going into a cheesy store and buying something childish; just wait for my store to open and make your way to our grand opening sale--buy one item and get weirded out for free.

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