Someday soon I am going to get a lot of plastic surgery. Now those of you who have seen me might be thinking, "But pseudonym, you look pretty normal--not like a monster at all. Why would you ever need plastic surgery?" Well friend, maybe the problem is that I don't look enough like a monster.
Now I'm not about to go out and try anything crazy to make myself into actual monster, like that tiger guy. What I am saying is that regular plastic surgery will be enough to make me look like a monster! Have you watched a movie recently? Everyone under thirty looks normal, and every over forty has become a voluptuous, plastic demon. The world is funny it makes me want to cry myself to death.
After I get my monster surgery I will fly out to New York City, because everyone knows that the film industry in LA is dead, and try my hand at acting. Since the only requirement for acting is a face, and since I will have an AWESOME face by then, I don't see any problems for me. If you want to subscribe to this perfect life plan, then please send $100 to this blog... from your blog. Go.
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